my thirteen year old self
as the quest continues to dwell inward to discover the stories that are holding me back from fully stepping into and basking in my goddess self, I am choosing to be gentle, patient and loving with myself. there is no rush here, no race…only love and tenderness. I am delving into prayer and surrendering the hurt and the pain to God. Asking her/him to open my heart wide open to invite more love into my life, which means inviting more of the abundance that the universe wants to share with me.
it’s not alway easy to open our hearts wide open certainly when we are experiencing various emotions like anger, shame, hurt….for me, when these strong emotions come up for me, I have a tendency to withdraw within, and shut the door…sometimes, I may choose to leave it ajar, just a bit….but often I close it. i am more aware now more than ever when I choose to close my heart…my journey has been to learn to leave it wide open in those moments. I don’t always succeed, but I am getting better results…and the door to my heart does not close for any where near as long as it use to.
when I chose to sit with the memory of the lovely shoe box filled with a stuffed bra and a bottle of cream instructing me to apply the creme 3 times a day so my breast would grow, i decided that it was important to connect with my 13 year old self and let her know how beautiful and awesome she is….i wrote her a letter that day a few weeks ago…in it I said this is what I want you to know: that I am sorry that we were treated in this way. I want you to know that I love you to pieces and that you have a great looking body. I want you to know that you are enough and there is no need to prove anything to anyone. I want to know your breast are beautiful…absolutely beautiful and that the man we chose to marry loves them…and these very breast some dare make fun of, were the source of nourishment for our children. I want you to embrace your body which is your sacred vessel….be proud of it! these were just a few of the things I shared with her that day.
perhaps you have experienced something similar in your life when you were younger! if you have , please know that it’s time to step back into your power , to eject this limiting story that you are not enough. You are always enough. You are beautiful no matter what others day…because you choose to define what beautiful means to you….you want to know what the real secret is……beauty is an inside job…always has been…so choose to love and embrace yourself…that is no one else job but yours!
the love in me salutes the love in you