My body, mine to love

continuing my story that I started on monday, when I chose to go within and discover what was lying underneath this memory, I discovered that there were some unresolved feelings and emotions. I , in that moment, when I opened that box, felt incredibly small and inadequate. The man whom I deeply loved , admired and trusted , just broke that trust in that moment......he was one of my safe places to fall in this world, how dare he do this to me? as a little girl, I looked up to this man I called Dad. In that moment, all that I had come to know had changed. If a man that loved this deeply could hurt me so much...what then?

I didn't know it then, however, my subconscious stored this story deep with me and has been replaying itself over and over again without my knowing it, yet there are many signs of its story along the way. This breach in trust has affected my relationship with men. Never feeling like quite enough, I sometimes would act needy . other times, I would say to my spouse when he would fondle my breast  from behind as a means of affection.... I would bluntly say to him....I am not a piece of please don't just come up behind me and do that....I would surprise myself and him with the harshness of my comments because  he most certainly loves me and adores me...his intention was one of pure affection not that of treating me like a piece of meat.  Now, as memories flash into my mind and I go within to heal and release, I am able to discover some of the stories that I created that day when my father embarrassed me in front of my family.

I felt in that moment that my body was not enough.would it ever be enough? My breast in my father s eyes were I write that, I am going really.....why would my father even give a shit about my breast...what does it matter to him what size they are? I m not sure I will ever understand why that comment was made other than simple ignorance of another's feeling for the pure gratification of male power. or so that Is how I am choosing to reconcile that at this moment in time. perhaps, as I continue to let go, to release this story more spiritual truth will be revealed.

a parent plays  a strong influence in the life of a child. choose your words wisely. do not make your children feel ashamed for the body they have been blessed with in this life. you , as the parent with your partner created this sacred vessel. so why even begin to make fun of it. the world out there is harsh enough, and puts a lot of pressure on all of us as to how we are to show please don't add to the mix. instead hold that sacred space of love for your child. that is what he/she needs, unconditional love and honouring for the beautiful human being they are.

so yes, I am been made to feel ashamed of my body at an impressionable age. Yes, it s been a most interesting journey with my body which I am still discovering. what I do know is that my body is mine. It is mine to love, to appreciate, to honour, to take care of. It's my sacred vessel. as a child of God, a child of the divine, my vessel is sacred .  It' s time to let go of the stories , the unlimited beliefs that are holding me back from fully loving me as I am for this body of mine is truly beautiful and it's my responsibility to take care of it.

will you choose to forego your stories? will you choose to embrace your body as it is right now and love it like it yearns to be loved and accepted? if not you, then whose responsibility is it?

the love in me salutes the love in you


goddess of to bring your sexy back!

intuitive, spiritual teacher and coach

Diane Merpaw

Sacred Intuitive Artist &

Spiritual Coach